Save me

I am pretty damn fucked right now. I feel like my life is just moving along and I just can't do anything about it. I feel aimless. My eyes have become weaker. I have stopped going to gym and so I even feel physically weak. I spend the whole day in my room, watching mindless movies and occasionally worrying about MBA. Whenever I think about it, I go blank. I have failed so many times that now it seems that it is something I am not meant to do. It is just fucking up my brain. In addition, I have no one to discuss all this stuff with. No friends, offline or online. No one. Occasional meetings with random people from TIME is not what I call actual friendship. They don't know that I am going to appear for CAT, the fourth time. I have heard them made fun of a guy they know who is also going to attempt for the fourth time. I didn't respond then. Presently, I am an addict. I wake up everyday, brush my teeth, and just start watching movies. Random movies, which may not even have seen the light of a theater. I hate myself right now. I could use this time so effectively. I could work on my essays, get done with TOEFL, get my transcripts from the college, apply to various other places, learn web application programming, enhance my Unix shell scripting and what not. But here I am, just losing my way and focus. I need a mentor who can hold my hands and lead me to the correct path. Someone who would drag me out of my bed and give me hope that I can. 

I seem to have become someone who has forgot what is human touch. I analyze so much that everything seems useless. My confidence gets a big big hit when I can't decipher the codes of life, and when others who were not that great once are now achieving great heights of glory. 

Am I alone here ? Is there no one here who is facing the same problem as I am. Why can't I find anyone who is like me and can understand me. Well, I am a loser. I just don't want to get better. People don't think too much and are not always judging their actions on a moral scale. I do. I do it every time and hence, I lose focus and just start thinking instead of doing. No one will remember the things I thought, every thing that they will remember is my work - my actions. Action speaks louder than words do, yes, but they do so even more than thoughts do. I lost a friend recently. No he/she is not dead, but is not going to talk to me anymore. Things became complicated and finally ended. It was abrupt and I was fine with it for few days, but I realized that he/she was proving to be good distraction from all these thoughts. I was enjoying the TIME classes but my recent failures in solving simple math problems have brought me down to my knees. I am trying to get up but I can't. I am just tired of failures. I don't know when this slump will end, but I hope it does soon. The child in me has already committed suicide, and now I see negative in every aspect of life. Fear has taken over my soul and I just can't do anything without shaky hands. Is it the effect of excessive internet/computer usage or am I really mentally sick right now ? I don't know the answer, and presently, I don't want to know. I go to sleep with dreadful thoughts that I am going to die a virgin, and I will never get to love anyone or receive love from anyone. Even if someone loves me, I will drive him/her away as I am this skeptical bastard. I have forgot to trust people, and to share thoughts - my thoughts, not my neighbor's thoughts. I can't talk to people. I fear the crowd. I just like to watch them from a distance.

I fear my past. Still, the waste of my college life, supposed to be the golden years of my life, has been haunting me. I can't call myself an engineer. I regret that I didn't pay attention during my college days. My actions during those time were horribly disoriented and there was no one who could tell me that I was not doing the right thing in a right way. I lost my sole strength - my intelligence. My innocence was brutally killed and it has been buried very deep in the corners of my pitiful life. My stream has changed. I have become a non-innovate salary crunching individual who has apparently lost his individuality in the crowd. I used to do things because I loved to do those, but now I feel I am not doing those things any more. I used to play, I used to sing, I used to create music. All that is gone now. I will not say that the music in me is dead, but it is not able to come out due to all the fucking shit in my head.

I see my brothers and sisters, and I feel jealous. I see joy and focus in their eyes. They have somehow figured out the code of life. They are enjoying friendships, failures, successes, and are doing it with great attitude. I wish I was one among them, and could share my life with such great cousins. Being the eldest, I am alone at the top and everyone hides stuff from me and don't really care for me that much. I was once the golden boy of my family, but I am the rogue boy who always fails.

My eyes hurt now, bye.

It's T.I.M.E

Well, I joined T.I.M.E almost a month back. Quant has been an undisputed leader among the topics that have been covered, but verbal is slowly picking up. Meanwhile, I have made some friends among the lot. Before I go there, let me take into account the demographics of the class. Most of the students here, are in the first year of their job or in the last year of their college. I, being the eldest and with more than two years of experience, belong to a different clan altogether. Many of them haven't written the exam before, and hence are facing the questions for the first time. Despite all this, my quantitative skills have helped me create an influence and presence in the classroom. Also, the revelation of me being an IITian has furthered the cause. In the midst of this influence, I have been able to make some new friends, if I may call them so. The difference here, unlike the other recent friend groups where the motive was competitive, is that the gains are mutual, and the whole group can act as a potential support and reconciliation group. Earlier, when I prepared alone, various thoughts and doubts crept up in my mind but they went answered or were lost among the daily chores of job life. But now, I can connect with similar minded or rather similar focused people who would help me get over those doubts or questions. Also, my long lost weapon i.e. intimidation by knowledge or power of mathematics is slowly gaining raw material. Although, the road ahead is steep and full of multi-dimensional challenges, this new stream has added some dynamic to my otherwise dull and insular life.

Before I forget to mention the names of some of them, here is the small list - Shobhit, Apratim, Vishak and one guy whose name I will ask tomorrow :)

Let's see how this phase unfolds. 

Diary 222: Return of Diary and Updates

Well, it has a long time since I posted something. I came back today mainly because megavideo.com and megaupload.com were banned by US feds, creating a panic among other video host websites, leading to no free TV episodes anymore. I realized that a significant portion of my day was spent on watching TV series and all. I guess, now it is going to change after all. Over the last few weeks, a lot of things have happened - mostly bad. 

I will start by saying that I scored only 60 %le in VA in CAT and hence didn't get calls from any IIMs other than IIM K stage I. I know that I will not clear stage II. Also, ISB has not invited me yet for an interview and it seems that it will not as the deadline is quite near. To add to my frustration, there are apparently no projects on the job front and so I am totally out of work, and time is not being utilized properly. Although Gil has asked us to get our UK Visas done, I don't see any project in the pipeline. My parents are kind of frustrated that I am not able to get into a B-School yet. My mom is worried about my marriage age and all. I still couldn't tell my parents that Rishabh is getting married. Presently, I am totally alone and I have no friends at all. I am perfectly alone and it feels bad because I have to face all the worries alone. Janani seems to be going through the same phase of her life, and so we talk or message sometimes. I am losing hair at an alarming rate and I fear that my bad looks would soon be accentuated by baldness.

On other front, more recently, I have tried to keep a positive approach towards life and promised to change myself for the better. I am planning to join guitar classes, so that I can get more social interaction rather than sitting idle and watching sitcoms all day. Also, once I get the rejection letter from ISB, I will go on full throttle towards my MBA goal. I plan to approach a education consultant to help me with my applications. Also, I will join TIME full time and try to bell the CAT. I am keeping hopes up by trying to understand myself. I came to know that my personality type is INTJ, which indicates that I am quite rare and intelligent, and that I should be proud to be one. I am trying to overcome my weaknesses with the help of that and also further my strengths rather than wasting time. Also, it seems that Akshay is also leaving Feasthunt and so it is all me now, but I am not distracted and will continue to move on. I reviewed the software on a preliminary basis and it was quite good. Website is also looking much better and unique than before. I am using this link to understand myself in a better way and move towards success. Let's see where it all leads.

Diary 204: Return of Diary and Job Day

Well, I am returning to this blog after a long gap. The reasons were Goa Trip and ISB application. I did this to save time and create less distraction. That's why there are some updates. The Goa trip was awesome, and I took a lot of photos. I haven't uploaded them yet but I plan to do so soon. Also, I submitted my application to ISB on 29th. I don't know whether I will get an interview call or not, but at least a big tension is out of my head. Next, significant changes happened in the designs of the website. I designed the whole thing now and it looks good. Also, on the job front, Gil came to mumbai and we all had a nice time. Now, we are all very busy with internal projects. I partially completed one of them and now I am starting with another. Also, I dared to ask for recommendation from Gil, and he was a bit sad to know that I applied. Anyways, coming back to today. I woke up at around 7:45 am, and got ready for office. I left with my dad at around 9:00 am, and reached my office at around 10:45 am. There was some work and so I started working on that. Later, we all went through some resumes and decided on the candidate to hire. Also, Sarvesh took an interview today and I was also sitting alongside. It felt good to be on the other side. After the office hours, I left for home at around 5:00 pm. I reached Bandra, and later home at around 7:30 pm. I worked on the way back home too, so I was free now, and started watching the loaded movie. Then, I had my pre work-out dinner and left for gym. Today was workout day and I returned at 10:30 pm. Then, I decided to write the diary finally after completing the movie. Also, I had a chat with Shatabdi after a long time, and that too though my phone, and so I was multi-tasking with blogging and chatting. Next, I plan to watch another movie and then sleep by 3:00 am. I will not go to office tomorrow.

Diary 198: No office Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:00 am. I woke up at 9:10 am today. I brushed my teeth and started watching the Day 1 of the 2nd test between India and West Indies. Meanwhile, I decided to work on my essays too. It took me a while to start on my 3rd essay. India started off well but soon Sehwag was out by playing a silly cross bat shot. There was great anticipation about Sachin's elusive hundredth hundred. But, all in vain, Sachin got out after scoring 38, and again due to impatience. He played a pull shot off Bishoo and killed everyone's hopes. Anyways, on the other hand, Dravid went on and on. He scored a century and lifted India to 346/5 by stumps. Although, he got out, Laxman kept the batting alive with his 73. At around 3:00 pm, we had our lunch, and soon after lunch, Ankit pinged me and asked me about my whereabouts. I managed to steer the topic to other things. Later, I decided to take a nap and woke up at around 6:00 pm. Then, Dadai and I went out for some minor food shopping. We came back, had some Tea and snacks, and then I moved to my room. I helped my sister solve some problems and I worked on the essays too for a while. Then, I left for the gym. Today was cardio day. I came back at around 10:30 pm, and took a bath. I had a good dinner today. I ate rice and chicken. Then, I watched the TV for a while, and then moved to my room. I wrote this post, and now I plan to watch the latest episodes of CSI:Miami and Dexter. I plan to sleep by 2:30 am.

Diary 196: Being Alone day 1

Yesterday I slept at around 3:00 am. Today I woke up at around 10:15 am. Everyone was getting ready to leave for Pune. I had breakfast and started exploring the features of the phone. At around 11:30 am, everyone left. Then, I started watching the latest episodes of Chuck and Bones. Later, I got a call from the developers that they need the designs to proceed. So, I worked on the designs after an early lunch at around 1:00 pm. I had a small nap after that, and left home for the meeting with the developer. It lasted around 3 hours, and I was tired. My afternoon snack was handled at their office itself. I came back, relaxed and started working on the essays. Later, I watched some random shows on TV, and had my pre-workout dinner. I left for the gym at 9:30, and came back at around 10:30. Today was cardio day. I had my post work out dinner and then moved back to my room. Then, I started working on the essays and it went on till 6:00 am. Then, I slept.

Diary 194: New Phone and Dadai/Didai arrival Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:00 am. Today I woke up at around 10:15 am. I brushed my teeth and went online. As of other days, I didn't messaged or pinged anyone that I am not coming. I started working on the ISB essays and also started tracking my phone which was on its way. I realized that it has arrived in Mumbai and that it can be delivered today itself. So, I called up the courier services and made it sure that they deliver it today. After that, I had my lunch at around 2:30 am. Today I had rice instead of Roti. Later, I kept on working on the essay and had discussions with many friends regarding that. I got calls from Janani where she asked doubts in concepts related to Statistical curves. Then, I decided to take a nap as I was feeling very sleepy. I woke up at around 6:00 pm, and started watching the TV. I came to know that the test match between Australia and South Africa is going crazy. It was turning out to be very interesting with both the teams getting all out to very low totals. After that, at around 7:15 pm, my new phone arrived. I was happy and relieved. I explored it all the way and tried out various things. My sister and I tried it hands on and were very happy with the features, it was like entering into a new world of communication. After that, at around 9:10 pm, Dadai and Didai arrived, and we were happy again. I left for gym at around 9:30 and came back at around 10:15. Today was cardio day. Then I watched TV and had my bath. Later, I synced up the contacts of the phone and then ate my post work out dinner. We all chatted for a while, and then moved back to our rooms. I started writing this diary and now, I plan to think about the essays for a while and sleep by 2:15 am.

Diary 193: Office and tiring Day

Yesterday I slept at around 2:45 am. Today I woke up at around 7:30 am, and got ready for office. Dad's office car was late today and so we left at around 9:20 am. I reached the office at around 11:20 am. I had no apparent work, but I went to office only to follow the policy of alternate day work thing. This is not an official policy, but I developed this to keep things happy at both office and home. Anyways, I started watching the match and came to know that Sachin missed the 100th 100 by 24 runs. But, anyhow, India defeated WI in the first test and were 1-0 up in the series. After that, it was more or less a time pass thing in Office. I managed to get the salary slips from Sushma, and also the salary for the present month. Later, I also got the celebration chocolates from her as a token of Diwali gift for every employee. Later, I left the office at around 5:15 pm, and reached Dad's office at around 6:15 pm. Then, we left for home and finally reached home at around 8:00 pm. Tomorrow, our relatives are coming in from West bengal, and they are coming here for the first time, so it will be fun. Then, I ate my pre work out dinner and watched the TV. Today, another one from Bihar won 1 crore ruppees. I left for gym at around 9:25 pm. Today was workout day. I came back at around 10:30, had my bath followed by the post work out dinner. Then, I came to know that an asteroid passed very close to Earth yesterday, and that it could have hit the Earth. It was not a very big deal though, since it was expected to burn out even if it would have entered Earth's atmosphere. Then, I wrote this diary and now I plan to think about the essays and sleep by 3:00 am.

Diary 192: No Office Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:00 am. Today I woke up at around 10:00 am. I brushed my teeth, and went online. I didn't ping anyone to tell that I was not going to office. Also, there was no work as such. DOE was being handled by sarvesh and rohit. So, I started watching the latest episodes of Gossip Girl, HIMYM, TAHM, Castle and House. Also, I started watching the Day 3 of the test match between India and West Indies. The match was at a crucial stage, but India were able to pull it back and restrict WI to 180 in their second innings. India were set a target of 276 runs. The chase started off nicely, but then India lost two wickets within the first 100 runs. Finally, Dravid and Tendulkar stabilized the innings. Also, Tendulkar reached 15000 runs in Test Cricket, the first human being to do so. Later, I had my lunch at around 2:45 pm, and then started thinking about the ISB essays. In the evening, I went out with my mom for some minor shopping. I came back and filled some blank fields in the ISB application. I worked on the essays for a while, and then helped my sister with some geometry questions. Then, I left for gym, and came back in an hour. Today was cardio day. I had bath and my post work out dinner. Then, I played the guitar after a long time. Later, I wrote this diary. Now, I plan to think about the essays and sleep by 1:30 am. I plan to go to office tomorrow.

Diary 188: Movies and Timepass Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:30 am. Today I woke up at around 10:20 am, and went online. I brushed my teeth, had my breakfast and then started pretending to work. I informed Ankit that I came in late from Pune and so was not able to make it to Office. Finally, I started watching some movie and also the latest episodes of BBT and Bones. After that, I continued watching the movies. I had my lunch in between, and it was a change from the normal. It was stuffed paratha and I loved it. The whole afternoon, I was watching the movies. In the evening, I went out to food bazaar with my mom and did some shopping. I continued with the movies after coming back. In the evening, I cursed my luck for not making it to IIMs this time and also because I didn't do well in CAT. Anyways, I kept on watching the movies and later decided to leave for gym. Today was cardio day. I returned home at around 10:30 pm, and took a bath. I watched the TV for a while, and ate my post work out dinner. Then, I moved to my room, and continued with the movies. Later, I wrote this diary, and now I plan to finish the movies and sleep by 4:00 am.

Diary 187: Horrible CAT Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:30 am. I woke up today at around 11:15 am. I brushed my teeth, and had my breakfast. I planned my schedule to leave for CAT and then studied a bit. Then, I took a bath, and had my lunch at around 1:15 pm. I left at around 1:30 pm for the exam. Well, now the bad part starts. Well, not yet, but still. The start was very smooth. Maths section was very easy and I enjoyed it. But, then the verbal section was very bad and I struggled a lot, even with the logic questions. So, basically, there is no hope now. Anyways, I returned home at around 6 pm, and informed my mom about the exam. I started watching TV to distract myself and re-gain some confidence. Meanwhile, Dallas informed me that he got admit in Cornell. Now that was another surprise and I was happy for him. Everyone in my surrounding was part of some miracle or the other, but there is no miracle in my life. Anyways, I continued watching the TV and then left for the gym later. Today was workout day. I came back, watched TV for a while and then had a bath and my post work out dinner. I moved back to my room, and wrote this diary. Now, I plan to watch a random episode and a movie may be. I plan to sleep by 3:00 am. Tomorrow I was asked to come to office, but I will make up some excuse.

Diary 186: Worrisome and Feasthunt Day

Yesterday I slept at around 4:00 am. I completed the movies. Today I woke up at around 11:45 am. I brushed my teeth, and had my breakfast. Then, I decided that I will meet the webprint guys and try to change the design a lot. I called them up and set up an early meeting with them. At around 1 pm, I left for the meeting. I spent around 2 hours with them, to revive the new design. I hope that the design changes with respect to the other pages too. Anyways, I came back home and had lunch at around 3:15 pm. Then, I decided to take a test, and I completed it by 6:30 pm, and as usual it was horrible. I decided to relax and so had some Tea and started watching the TV. Later, I mailed the new designs to the other guys, who didn't respond yet. Later in the evening, I saw the episode of KBC, where a guy named "Sushil Kumar" won 5 crores finally. It was phenomenal to see that episode. He used two of the four lifelines for the last question. One of them was double dip. He was the perfect example of "Bravery begets success". Anyways, I left for the gym after that. Today I didn't perform all the activities as I was kind of anxious for the exam tomorrow. I came back early at around 10:15 pm, took a bath and then had my post work out dinner. I moved back to my room, and then browsed some random sites. I wrote this diary after that, and now I plan to study a bit, and sleep by 2:00 am.

Diary 184: Extreme Time pass day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:30 am. I woke up today at around 9:30 pm. I had my breakfast and went online. No one was online and there was no new work also, so I just relaxed and started watching the latest episodes of CSI:Miami and Dexter. Meanwhile, I decided to send a new design related to the website and let them know about my idea of the design.Later, I had my lunch at around 2:00 pm. After the lunch, I watched the TV for a while, and then moved back to my room. I was feeling very sleepy and so I had a nap till 5:30 pm. At 5:30 pm, I attended the status call through skype installed in my IPod and then went on to watch TV for a while. I had some Tea and watched some interesting shows on Discovery till 8:30 pm around. Then I started watching KBC and later left for gym at around 9:30 pm. Today was cardio day and I returned home at around 10:30 pm. After a bath, I had my post work out dinner. Today, I also came to know that Janani got the 10th rank in the state administrative exam. I got in touch with her after a long time. Anyways, I came back and started researching about the Voter's ID card thing due to immense pressure by my Dad. I came to know about the details of registering and applying for a Voter's ID card. Then, I wrote this diary and realized that I didn't write one yesterday. Well, anyways yesterday was not much different from today. I will watch some movie now, and will sleep by 3:30 am or so.

Diary 182: General timepass and No Gym Day

Yesterday I slept at around 2:30 am. Today I woke up at around 10:30 am. I brushed my teeth and went online. I noticed that there have been several issues regarding the code that we sent few days back. So, we started working on that. My portion of the work was not much and so I completed it quickly and took a rest. Then, I started watching the latest episodes of BBT and Castle. Later, I had lunch at around 2:15 pm. After the lunch, I wasted my time playing solitaire and watching random youtube videos. Later in the evening, I had some Tea and started watching TV. Then, I moved to my room and started looking for alternatives for my Phone. Today I inserted my phone's sim to my mother's phone because my phone had no memory to handle the processes. Anyways, I started watching TV again at around 9:30 pm. Today, there was no gym on the occasion of Bhai Dooj. I had my dinner then and continued watching TV till 11:10 pm. Then, I moved to my room, browsed random sites and then started writing another test. The test ended around 2 and a half hours later. It was terrible again especially the verbal section. Now, I plan to sleep by 3:30 am.

Diary 181: Bhai Dooj and Time pass day

Yesterday I slept at around 4:30 am. I took another test and it was disastrous. Today I woke up at around 12:30 pm. I brushed my teeth, and went online. My mom needed some stuff from the market, so I left for the market after my breakfast. I came back and it was already the time for lunch. Today was bhai dooj and so my mom prepared puri and chana. I had my lunch and then moved to my room. Later, I decided that I will take another test. So, I took the test and finished at around 6:00 pm. The test was easier, and so I scored good especially in the quant section. Then, I had some Tea and started watching the TV. Later, I started searching for reviews and results regarding Ra.One. I was having more fun reading the reviews about it than watching the movie itself. I loved it. Later, my sister and I complied with the bhai dooj rituals somehow, and laughed throughout the process. Anyways, later I drank black coffee and left for the gym. Today was cardio day and it was tiring. I walked on 12% incline without holding the handle, which made things very hard. I returned home and had my dinner. Dinner was special too - Chicken Biryani. So, I had my mouthful of it and enjoyed it a lot. A proper stomach full food after a long time. I watched the TV then, and moved to my room later. I wrote this diary, and now I plan to study or move to bed. I plan to sleep latest by 2:30 am.

Diary 179: Job and Series White Wash Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:30 am. I took another test and as usual it was disastrous. Today I woke up at around 11:00 am. I got a call from Sarvesh regarding some locked mapping but it was not locked my me. I brushed my teeth, and went online. I had my breakfast and then started working on some pending work. I completed it pretty early and then I started loading the latest episodes of TAHM, HIMYM and Gossip Girl. Meanwhile, Divyansh and I decided to go for a movie tomorrow. We narrowed down to Ra.One and that too the cheap morning show. I booked the tickets through bookmyshow and forwarded the mail to Divyansh. Later, I had my lunch at around 2:40 pm. I started watching the match between India and England that time. After lunch, I started multi-tasking between work and the match. India started off quietly but then lost three wickets in quick succession. Somehow, due to some late hitting by Dhoni, India managed to reached 271 in their 50 overs. Raina contributed too. We had a client call at around 5:30 pm, where we informed them that everything is complete except for one issue. Later, I again started watching the match. England were off to a fantastic start. At one point they were 129/0 in about 20 overs. Suddenly they collapsed like pack of cards and were all out for 176. India took the revenge for the England series. White wash it is. Dhoni was the man of the series and Jadeja was the man of the match. I left for Gym after that. It was cardio day. I returned home at around 10:30 pm, and then took a bath, and had my post work out meal. Then, I wrote this diary. Now I plan to study and then sleep at around 3:30 am.

Diary 178: Work and Timepass Day

Yesterday I slept at around 3:15 am. I took another test and scored good in Quant but didn't clear the cut off in Verbal. Today I woke up at around 10:20 am. I got a call from Sarvesh straightaway, where he asked about the updates from my side. After that, I brushed my teeth, and went online. I started working on the pending tasks and was in constant touch with Sarvesh regarding the updates. I completed my work and started watching the latest episodes of CSI:Miami and Dexter. I had my lunch at around 2:45 pm, and then again started working. The multi-tasking went on till afternoon. We had a call with the client at around 5:30 pm, where we got our doubts cleared. After that, I started working again on some new task. At around 8:30 pm, I had some paani puri followed by my pre work out dinner. At around 9:30 pm, I left for gym. Today, a new work out card was issued to me. Today was unfortunately the work out day. I got some new exercises to handle. All consisted of dumbbells, and my arms were screaming after the exercises. I returned home at around 10:50 pm, and had a bath followed by post work out dinner. Then, I wrote this diary. Now, I plan to study and then sleep by 3:30 am. Also, today was my grandfather's birthday and we all wished him.

Diary 177: ISB and Cricket Day

Yesterday I slept at around 5:00 am. I took another test and still no relief. Anyways, today I woke up at around 11:00 am. I brushed my teeth, and went online. I mailed Sarvesh and Rohit that I had completed my part of the work, and now it is up to them. Then, I took a bath and got ready to leave for the ISB PGP Info session at Cuffe Parade (near CST). I left with my mom and dad, as they were leaving for some minor shopping. I boarded the train from CBD, and then reached CST at around 2:15 pm. I reached the hotel at around 2:30 pm, and got myself seated there. I found a few familiar faces there but I didn't bother them. The session was very good, and I came to know something new about the placements at ISB i.e. how the companies are approached and how the salary negotiations take place. Also, the notion of international placements was clear. Meanwhile, there was a match going on between India and England, not very far away from where I was. But, after the session, I left for home, and reached home at around 6:20 pm. On the way, I had one burger and Veg pizza mcpuff from McDonald's. About the match, India were able to regain control after the initial outburst by England, and restricted England to only 220. I started watching the match then. India didn't start off that well, and lost 3 wickets in no time. But Virat and Raina pulled things back, and led India to another victory, making the lead 4-0 in this series. Then, I left for gym. Today was Cardio Day. I came back, and had a bath. Then, I wrote this diary, and next I plan to study, and sleep by 3:30 am.

Diary 174: Job and Series Win Day

Yesterday I slept at around 4:30 am. I took another test and again I didn't clear the cut off. Today I woke up at around 10:20 am, and went online. I realized that nobody has come online yet, and so I started looking into other aspects of work. Pretty soon, I and Sarvesh started analyzing the missing tables and all. We got into lots of problem, and it was now up to me to change the code to help the cause. It was frustrating but somehow I managed to complete it by Lunch time. I had my lunch at around 3:00 pm. By that time, the cricket match between India and England had started, and so I started multi-tasking. India started off well with the bowling, but then England made a recovery and reached 298 in their 50 overs. Meanwhile, I booked the tickets for all of us for the Goa Trip, including return trip. I watched the match throughout the day. I checked some mails in between, but my mind was fixed at the result of the match, because a win in this would ensure a series win for India. India started their chase nicely and placed themselves at a nice place in the middle overs. But then the wickets started falling, and it was down to Dhoni. I left for gym in disappointment, but watched the last overs of the match there. In one line, Dhoni saved India again. He scored 35-40 odd in a quick time to reach 300 in 49.2 overs. Then, I came back, and watched the first episode of "Dadagiri" (now hosted by Mithun Chakarborty unfortunately). After that I took a bath, and started writing this post. Now, I plan to watch the latest episode of House and then study. I plan to sleep by 4:15 am.

Diary 173: No Office but lots of work Day

Yesterday I slept at around 4:15 am. I took another test where I scored 94 but still couldn't clear the cut off in either section. Anyways, today I woke up at around 10:20 am. I went online, and saw that there was flurry a e-mails from both client and team members. I started working immediately. I had lot of calls in between with Sarvesh. He was also working on the same thing. Somehow, I felt that Mukund was again not giving his 100% to the project. He asked simple doubts etc. Later, I had my lunch at around 2:40 pm. After lunch, I continued working on the same. At around 3:30 pm, I completed my part and passed it on to Sarvesh. Then, I was feeling too sleepy and so I dozed off. I got few calls from Sarvesh in between and I handled them somehow. I got up at around 5:50 pm, and realized that I have missed the call with Gotham. I started working again after some Tea. The work was frustrating, but once done, it would open up lots of doors of improvement, and so I continued. I ate my pre work out dinner at around 8:45 pm, and went to gym at 9:40 pm. All the time, I was working on the same thing. I returned from Gym early, and started working again. After a lot of head banging and typing, I finally completed it and passed it on to Sarvesh. He, then, started working on it and will most probably complete it by tonight. Next, I plan to watch the TV episode of House and then study. I plan to sleep by 4:00 am.