I am not going to mention any names here, as it might affect the life I have right now and may hurt a lot of people. But, anyway I had to write it out for the record because may be I won't actually remember her 1-2 years from now.
We met only 4 times but I felt a connection with her on some level. I always felt there is some kind of a tension between us. Not only from my side but from her side too. There was some irrational pull towards her. Of course, I was already with someone so I didn't pursue it in action but my thoughts were wandering. Also, it was a lost cause because she was going away for further studies in few weeks. At times, I felt like crying thinking of this situation. But of course, I distracted myself given the training I had for the past 10 years or so. I ignored her and focused more and more on my present girlfriend. I am good at being someone who can easily get distracted for a long period of time.
Her voice still lingers in my ears, and I remember her smile and eyes. When I met her, I had nothing, no expectations whatsoever but as I came to know more of her, I kept unfolding new sides to her. She is humble, she is patient, she is adjusting. May be all these are premature illusions but that is what has remained of her in my mind. She is gone now for sure. I will live a life without her or even without actually knowing her.
I so want to jot down few of the memories here, but I shouldn't. This is the minimum sacrifice I have to make in order to maintain some peace in my life. I hope to forget her soon. Till then, Sunday mornings will be cruel.
