Scribbling 1: Life at present

This is the first post in the series of random thoughts and synapses emerging in my mind. Well, to start off, sometimes I give undue important to other people - their achievements, their failures, their status, etc. If I waste so much time on analyzing their lives, what would happen to my life ? I become impatient, and restless, trying to achieve too much in too less time. My academic record at school has left an ever lasting impression on everyone. Being a topper there, everyone feels or I think they feel that I am not where I am supposed to be. I should have been in some big shot job or doing some complex research work. This puts a lot of pressure on me. I have alienated almost all my friends from past just because I plan to contact them again with that same confidence which I had that time. They ask me often - where are you ? why are you not in touch anymore ? But, how can I explain them my situation ? Most of my friends are in an awesome position, some abroad, some at great management schools, some at MITs and sorts. Unfortunately, I have nothing to share with those old lost friends to make them feel proud of me. I am just waiting for such a moment in my life. There were few close encounters but they were snatched away from me.

In my previous job, people used to tell me to leave this low paying job and go towards Finance. Well, this caused a lot of resistance towards finance and finance-related jobs, so much that I developed a prejudice. Later on, when I started reading a bit about stock market, GDP, Inflation, Budget, Macro/Micro Economics etc. , I found that it is not a bad field at all. It is in fact, a very complex and dynamic field filled with challenges and lot of hard work. Unfortunately, the big financial giants use this to trick their customers and make huge profits. Also, after learning the fact that these giants are practically behind every possible war and crime in this world, it is tough to develop a soft corner for them. But speaking of the branch, if I ever get a chance to pursue this field, I would prefer research than practice. I don't want to get my hands dirty in the series of crimes. 

I have no idea how the things would turn out, but I wish I could regain that confidence level again. The recent events of getting rejected from IIM B, L and ISB didn't help the cause but I will not stop trying. Fortunately, my new job seems to be good, hefty raise from my previous package, and also a rise in designation. I will soon post some work related posts also, where I will discuss the technologies I have been working on very recently. These are very new in the market and hence add a niche touch to my skill set. Information about these tools is very less, even on Google, practically nothing on the development side, so those posts may be very helpful for those who are planning to learn it on their own.