Scribbling: No reset button left

Originally written: Approx Dec 2015-Jan 2016

Well, yes. I am back here and that too after a really long time. And whenever I am here, it is because something has gone wrong and I need someone to talk to or express my thoughts to. This time I am really stuck, and have no where to go. I don't know what career I want, I don't know whom I want to be with, I don't know what kind of a person would make me happy and so many other - "I don't know"s. 

The base on which I had been living my life has been shaken from the roots. I can't even write about those things here. The net result of all those things is that I am not what I thought I was. I am not a hero, I am not even a zero. I am no one, and have achieved nothing despite studying from the elitist colleges and schools of the country. 

I have a very big ego which needs to be satisfied at all cost. I just can't value the love I receive from people, be it friends or family or anyone. I remain in such an air of ego that I forget to appreciate and thank them back. I treat them like an invaluable item and take them for granted. On the top of this, I don't say anything which would make my image go wrong in front of anyone.