Pursuit of Happyness :-)

I still remember the scene from the movie when Will Smith walked out from the office and was clueless in the midst of the swarming and aimless crowd. He claimed that the feeling then and there, the small part of his life, was "happiness". 

The day the CAT results were to be announced, I knew that it could make a great difference in my life, my approach further, my belief and also my confidence towards everything. But, I was prepared to handle both the scenarios. I told myself, I am still young and can lead my life any way I want to, with no restrictions. I didn't hate my job, neither did I have any particular stream to look forward to. I knew that whatever happens, I have to keep moving and gain as much knowledge as possible, and to understand the world as much as I can in my life time. I have learned that when one starts living one's own life, he/she can excel in anything he/she wants to.

As expected, it was 12:00 am, and the servers were dead. No one was able to access the website. Given this, I disabled my temporary Facebook account, switched off my phone and started watching some random TV series. I was prepared for the worst. Various thoughts went through my mind, the most prominent one was the look on the face of my grandfather once he knows what my result is. I didn't want to disappoint him, but I was prepared for that too. I have learned to forgive myself now otherwise I would just keep apologizing each second for the countless mistakes I have done in my life with respect to family, friends, love, passion and what not. I also thought of my friends from PG, how they changed my life, how the interaction has gone beyond a normal online relationship, and how my inherently lonely soul was finally finding a channel to speak out, bring smiles to other's faces and after a long time laugh genuinely. I somehow had a belief that they would support me, be it adversity or the reverse. This was a big change from the shy, diffident, and lonely character who used to reside in my head. I never took so many people for granted before this. It felt good.

At around 5:00 am, I was able to access the result. While, I opened the page, I had a photo frame of God in my hands. Situations like these make me weak somehow and I turn to something to hold on. When I saw the results page, I was quiet. I saved the page. Suddenly, my sister opened the door and asked me what happened. I told her, and she said - "Yeah, it is quite good, very good in fact". I nodded. I logged onto PG, and noticed that one of my close friends has also scored quite well, but was on the border line with respect to chance of calls. I posted my result, and the flurry of congratulations started appearing, and I was still calm. I started asking people about their results and found out that most of my close friends didn't score well. I remembered the feeling I had got last year on the same occasion, and so I tried to relate to their thoughts. Consequently, I got more involved in talking to those friends rather than replying to congratulation messages.